<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Remember I Love You by Lavendermagik</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874982">Remember I Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavendermagik/pseuds/Lavendermagik'>Lavendermagik</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode: s12e11 Regarding Dean, F/M, Fluff, One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:48:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavendermagik/pseuds/Lavendermagik</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean forgot a lot over the course of the memory curse: the word for lamp, who Rowena is, that the two of you aren't dating...</p>
<p>Wait, what?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Remember I Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>If they haven’t called they must be busy. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You shouldn't bother them just because you're paranoid. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But what if something happened?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>They're fine. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>What if they need help?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You worry too much. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Maybe they've been captured, and they're waiting for me to come find them.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You're being ridiculous. Put the phone down and get back to finding Lucifer’s love child.</i>
</p>
<p>You set your phone facedown on the table. Then you picked it up and jabbed Sam’s number like you had to get the call in before your internal argument could kick up again.  </p>
<p>The boys always checked in when they were on a separate hunt. Even on the supposed milk runs, like the murder they were currently investigating. But nothing had come since Sam’s text that Dean’s phone was inoperable, and your skin itched with concern. </p>
<p>The brother that answered wasn’t the one you expected, but relief still flooded your system as a familiar voice cut in on the third ring. Relief and suspicion, because he had said your name a little too excitedly.  “Hey, Dean, you guys okay?”</p>
<p>“Hey, hi, yeah, we’re great! How are you?”</p>
<p>“I… I’m fine. Are you sure you're okay? You sound weird.”</p>
<p>
  <i>”Dean, give me my-"</i>
</p>
<p>“Shh, I’m on the phone! Hey sweetheart, do you know when you’re gonna be back?”</p>
<p>It took a moment to realize Dean was talking to you again. “Uh, Dean, I’m still at the bunker. You guys are the ones who are gone.”</p>
<p>“Bunker? That sounds awesome!”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>
  <i>”Dean, give me-"</i>
</p>
<p>“Hey, back off!”</p>
<p>“Dean!” you called loudly, trying to grab his attention over what sounded like a small struggle.</p>
<p>“Hmm, what sweetheart? Hey, do you know when you’re coming back?”</p>
<p>“Dean, let me talk to Sam for a minute.”</p>
<p>“What? Why?”</p>
<p>“Because I need to ask him a question.”</p>
<p>“But I hardly got to talk to you at all.” He sounded genuinely disappointed, and that made your stomach twist.</p>
<p>“This is really important. Please?”</p>
<p>“Fine.”</p>
<p>You heard a short shuffle as he handed the phone over, and then Sam was greeting you, sounding on the edge of exhaustion. He’d barely gotten your name out before you interrupted. “What’s wrong with Dean?”</p>
<p>“Witch got him.”</p>
<p>“So what do you have to do? Gank the witch?”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, he’s already dead, and Dean's still-" Sam was cut off by his brother asking if that was you and when you were going to be back. Sam tried to put him off, but that just seemed to rile Dean up.</p>
<p>
  <i>“Give me the phone. Let me talk to her.”</i>
</p>
<p>“No, Dean, we’re in the middle-" The argument was muffled, but then the phone shifted and Dean’s next sentence came through loud and clear.</p>
<p>“She’s <i>my</i> girlfriend – I should be the one to talk to her!”</p>
<p>Uh… what?</p>
<p>“What did he call me?”</p>
<p>“Dean, just… just go watch TV. I’ll be there in a minute.”</p>
<p>“Sam, what kind of hex was it?”</p>
<p>He sighed, but at least Dean seemed to have been redirected. “Memory curse. The more time passes, the more he forgets.”</p>
<p>“So, what? He just forgot that he’s not my boyfriend?”</p>
<p>He wasn’t. He wasn’t even close. He’d never shown the slightest interest in you, hardly even flirted.</p>
<p>“I guess? But he definitely remembers you, which is saying something considering he forgot his own name earlier and has absolutely no idea who Rowena is.”</p>
<p>“Rowena's there?”</p>
<p>“We didn’t have much of a choice, trust me.”</p>
<p>
  <i>“That hurts, Samuel.”</i>
</p>
<p>“Look, Sam, if anyone can fix this, it's her. I’d say we should be grateful for all the help we can get.”</p>
<p>“I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it though.”</p>
<p>
  <i>“Really, I am standing right here!”</i>
</p>
<p>“But she can fix it, right? Get Dean back to normal?”</p>
<p>Because heaven knows you don’t want to have the breakup talk with a guy you’d never gone out with in the first place. You especially didn’t want to have to break up with Dean. That was pretty much the exact opposite of all your girlish daydreams. </p>
<p>“She says she can, but first I have to track down some super spell book called the Black Grimoire.”</p>
<p>“That all sounds extremely dangerous.”</p>
<p>“I can handle it.”</p>
<p>“You sure you don’t want backup?”</p>
<p>“Dean doesn’t have time to wait.”</p>
<p>“Doesn’t have time?”</p>
<p>Whatever answer might have come was overtaken. As if activated by his name, Dean started asking after you again, demanding to know when you’d be back and then demanding to talk to you himself. Sam sounded to be putting up resistance, so you finally called out, “It’s okay, Sam. Give him the phone and go get the Grimoire. And be careful!”</p>
<p>“Thanks, I’ll call you as soon as- geez, okay, okay, here man, take it! <i>Guess I’m taking one of the burners.</i>”</p>
<p>“Hey sweetheart, when are you getting back? Sam is being a real drag and there’s some woman here you gotta meet. She’s got the brightest hair I’ve ever seen.”</p>
<p>“That’s Rowena, and we’ve met.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Hey, why have you been gone so long? Are you okay?”</p>
<p>Your chest squeezed tight, and you ignored it. “I’m fine. I promise I’ll see you soon. But I need you to do something for me.”</p>
<p>“Anything.”</p>
<p>Interesting. Breathing could actually hurt. “I need you to do whatever Sam and Rowena say, okay?”</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>Oh, that’s not good. “Sam is your brother.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course Sam’s my brother. And Rowena is…”</p>
<p>“The lady with the bright hair.”</p>
<p>
  <i>“Over here, dear.”</i>
</p>
<p>“Right, right, yeah.”</p>
<p>“So you’ll listen to them?”</p>
<p>“Listen to them do what?”</p>
<p>
  <i>“Pardon?”</i>
</p>
<p>“To their instructions, Dean. You need to do whatever they tell you, okay?”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Because they’ll keep you safe.”</p>
<p>“Safe from what?”</p>
<p>Geez, this was like arguing with a carousel. “Just safe until you’re feeling better.”</p>
<p>“What are you talking about? I feel great! Hey, are you going to be back soon?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” The word was more sigh than vocalization. “Yeah. Everything is going to work out really soon.”</p>
<p>“Good. I miss you.”</p>
<p>He was going to be so embarrassed if he remembered all this. “I miss you, too. Did Sam leave yet?”</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah, I think so. I don’t see him. But I can’t remember where he said he was going.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>There was a long pause, and you wondered if he forgot he was on the phone. Then you heard a deep breath, and his voice returned much softer than before. “I think something’s wrong with me.”</p>
<p>“I know. Sam is going to fix it.”</p>
<p>“Okay. But you’ll be back soon?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, Dean, we both will.” God willing. Not that Chuck was really around anymore. </p>
<p>“Good. When you get here we should grab dinner, maybe catch a movie or something.”</p>
<p>You actually heard a screeching that must have been your mind’s gears coming to an abrupt halt. Dean Winchester was asking you out. “Uh…”</p>
<p>“Sammy won’t mind fending for himself. I can’t remember the last time you and me had a night out.”</p>
<p>Well, of course he couldn’t, but that didn’t have anything to do with the hex and everything to do with it never happening in the first place. Unless you count the times Sam had stayed back at the hotel room while you and Dean did the food run. And those didn’t count, not really, no matter how much you wanted them to. </p>
<p>“Yeah, Dean, that sounds great. But, uh, I should get going. I’ve got a lot to do.”</p>
<p>Worrying technically classifies as something to do. </p>
<p>“Oh, okay, sweetheart.” Why did he have to sound so dejected? “But you’ll be back soon?”</p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>“Awesome. Love you.”</p>
<p>“You too.” </p>
<p>You wouldn’t cry. That wouldn’t be fair when Dean was the one with the curse, when it was his life on the line, if you were interpreting Sam’s comment about time correctly. But the Winchesters never said ‘I love you’ easily, not even to each other. Loving someone just meant one more person to lose. It hurt not only because you were hearing it purely under duress, but also because you knew that he’d never be able to say it so easily again. He was unburdened for the first time in his life, but only because he was dying. </p>
<p>You made zero progress on tracking down Kelly Kline. You did make quite a dent in your phone battery turning the screen on and off. Then you forfeited all pretense of work, downloaded a jigsaw puzzle app, and killed the rest of it. </p>
<p>The text came while you wasted time waiting for your phone to recharge. You were elbows deep in a massive closet overhaul when the chime sounded, and you immediately abandoned the piles to grab your phone so fast the charger came loose from the wall.</p>
<p>Sam: Crisis averted. Everyone’s fine. Be back tomorrow.</p>
<p>Your breath left you in one gust. Knees weak with relief, you sank towards your bed, missed, and ended up on the floor instead. It was all you could do to send back ‘Good, see you soon.’ Then you let the phone drop to your lap. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back against your mattress.</p>
<p>Dean was okay. Not dying anymore. As quickly as the relief had come, a new feeling knotted in your stomach. Did he remember? How much awkwardness should you prepare for? What if he thought you took him seriously and tried to have the breakup talk with <i>you</i>?</p>
<p>You let your head loll to the side. You opened your eyes to see the mess you’d left of the closet, and couldn’t help but think it was a pretty accurate metaphor right now.</p>
<p>The Impala is not a quiet car, so it’s pretty easy to know when she rolls up. Especially when one decides to sweep the garage around the time said car is supposed to arrive. Despite your anxiety, your face split with a grin as you watched the two giant men haul themselves out – any time they came back from a hunt in enough of one piece to move on their own was a cause for celebration.</p>
<p>“There they are.” You paused in your sweeping to look them both over. “How’re you feeling?”</p>
<p>“All things considered, not bad.”</p>
<p>“Speak for yourself. Sam kept trying to blast Céline Dion the whole way back.”</p>
<p>“Hey, it seemed appropriate!” Sam was dangerously close to giggling as Dean glared at him. You looked between the two, seeing the familiarity and letting it fill you with joy. That joy trickled out a little when Sam hiked his bag to his shoulder, still smiling, and walked out of the garage. You knew you’d have to talk to Dean alone eventually. You just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.</p>
<p>Okay, try for normal. “So… it’s all coming back to you now?”</p>
<p>“Don’t you start.”</p>
<p>“But seriously – your brain’s all in one piece?”</p>
<p>“Seems so. Except if Rowena asks, I don’t remember anything that happened during the curse.”</p>
<p>“Why’s that?”</p>
<p>He looked away, scratching at the back of his neck. “She said some personal stuff, and I don’t want it to be weird.”</p>
<p>You rested your chin on your broom, trying not to wring it between your hands. “You don’t seem too worried about it being weird with me.”</p>
<p>That brought his eyes back. “What?”</p>
<p>“I mean…” The handle’s wood grain dug into your palms. “You said a few pretty personal things, too.”</p>
<p>Had he planned to simply ignore the whole thing and hope you wouldn’t bring it up? He really should have let you in on that.</p>
<p>“Yeah…” He dragged the word out, let the gravel in his voice rough it up a little. Then he shrugged and dropped his hand to his hip. “On a scale of one to ten, how weirded out are you?”</p>
<p>“I… I’m not really weirded out, per se. But I was kind of expecting you to be.”</p>
<p>“I was hexed. And you were really nice about it.”</p>
<p>“Right. Nothing to it.” </p>
<p>Simple. Easy. No muss, no fuss. Life would go on exactly as before, as if you hadn’t let each thing he’d said wrap around your heart and choke it out.</p>
<p>“Not nothing.” He had his serious face on, the one that always got your attention, especially when the intensity was directed at you and you forgot whether you’d been breathing out or in. “When I forgot everything else, I remembered you. I forgot my life, my name, how to talk, but there was always Sam. And there was always you.”</p>
<p>“Oh… I guess… I guess that is something.”</p>
<p>“It’s something to me. Wasn’t sure what it would be to you. Just want you to know I… I’m grateful. For you.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Dean. That means a lot.”</p>
<p>He nodded, more at the floor than at you, and shuffled in a way that seemed like he might think he should leave but wasn’t quite ready to. You loosened your grip on the broom. He must have felt he couldn’t stall any longer, because he started for the door, but he only made it a few steps past you when he stopped again. “You know… you kinda agreed to something on the phone.”</p>
<p>“Hmm?”</p>
<p>“Dinner and a movie. The offer still stands. If you’re interested.”</p>
<p>“Interested might be putting it lightly…” You felt your face heat up, but a little vulnerability was worth the smile that lit up his face and crinkled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Just let me grab a quick shower and we can roll.”</p>
<p>“Wait, you mean tonight? Aren’t you tired?” </p>
<p>“Nope. Not even a little. Wide awake.” </p>
<p>“Come on, Dean. You almost died. Again. Let’s take the night to just stay in and celebrate with Sam. Everything else will still be here tomorrow.” You could see he wasn’t quite convinced, so you added, “Please? I don’t want to put on real pants.”</p>
<p>That brought his smile back. “Fine. But we’re catching a movie tomorrow, pants or no pants.”</p>
<p>“Deal.” You set aside your broom as he backtracked to wrap his arm around your shoulders and guide you inside the bunker. “You know, we have movies here…”</p>
<p>You felt his lips press to your hairline. “That's why you’re the brains of this operation.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Important YouTube video of <a href="https://youtu.be/TppJMa8apkc">Jeremy Jordan singing Céline Dion's It's All Coming Back to Me Now</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>